The radio alarm went off at 4:00 this morning so that we could get going to go stay with our grands in Omaha for a few days while their folks travel to Florida, where Tim has a conference, and Kristy gets to relax. As we drove onto the freeway, HW2 and I had a conversation about me weaving the car on the freeway.
In this scenario, I said to the officer as he pulled me over, "But I had only had a small drink or two." "What was it?" he asked. "Coffee!" I stated. "I am only 100 and can't see or hear, but I can still drive." "Wasn't your wife scared?" he asked. "No, she has been dead for the past five years!" "How did you get her into the car?" he asked. "Well, she is a bit stiff, but I managed." "What is that smell?" he asked. "It is my wife! I put her in the shower, standing up against the wall ,and hosed her off, but there never seems to be enough soap, Windex, automatic shower cleaner, or Scrubbing Bubbles, when you need them. I do like her though and plan to keep her, as long as she keeps quiet. She is a great listener and doesn't eat much. She is a trophy wife for sure. Normally I stand her up in the living room in front of the fireplace." "Well," he said, "Drive on, but keep your drinking down and keep both hands on the steering wheel and off your wife." "OK! Thanks for the tips!"
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